I love being a mother. I must admit however, that I have always admired (sometimes envied) the women who are flexible and patient. There are so many ways that those two qualities are necessary when raising children that I sometimes wonder if I have any business being a mother at all. At the moment both of my girls have very different interests and don’t seem satisfied with sharing mommy. Fights ensue, tempers flair and poor attitudes are prevalent. I’ve definitely been in a rut for the past few weeks and know that my children’s behavior is a reflection of my own poor attitude.
I am easily frustrated and often angry over the littlest things. I know my downfall is that in the moment I don’t choose to act upon the truth I know. I know my children are gifts from God and He uniquely created me to parent them. I know they are growing fast and they will soon be more than just my own. I know I only get one shot at this and that it requires effort and hard work. I also know that God is ready for me to call on Him to help me deal with any situation that may arise. Why then do I not call on Him more often?
Over the past few days when a poor attitude has won out over a Godly perspective, even then God has been speaking love to me. I’ve been reminded that when God used Rahab she was not found with a neat and tidy life, a life I often strive to obtain by my own efforts. She was used in the midst of her sin and in the way God found her. God turned her heart to that of a worshiper when she allowed Him to and our lives have been blessed because of her obedience in the moment. So here I am in my own selfishness, my own rut, my own Rahab moment admitting that I need God. I need Him to fill every area of my life so that I may be changed. I’ll let you know how my in the moment choices improve.