Monday, January 5, 2009

Both, yet neither

"Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary." Luke 10:41

I am a Martha. I get worried, anxious and upset over many things. The funny thing about me being a Martha is that I'm not a very good one. For all my trying to get things done I still have a pile of clothes that needs ironing, a kitchen floor that thankfully hides the grime, a basement that is over-run with too much stuff and a whole list of other things that a true Martha would get done. I guess it is just that I can identify with her busyness and her perfectionism.

This is one of my favorite passages because no matter how many times I've read it or heard it spoken about I always know that I need to live it more. I believe there are definitely parts of me that are Mary too. I earnestly desire to sit at Christ's feet and I take time daily to read His Word and open my heart to hear from Him. Unfortunately I'm not a very good Mary either. My intentions to sit quietly are often interrupted by a child or my own wondering thoughts or even my head nodding off. I desire the time with God but making it a reality doesn't always seem possible.

So here I am stuck between two roles, falling short in both. Not measuring up to actually getting things done and not always choosing the "one thing" that can make all the difference. Without a doubt I can say I have not achieved the balance that I know God has in mind. I want to follow God's priorities rather than my own or those of the world. I want to live a life of simplicity but often add too much junk to make that a reality.

The verse the kids are focusing on this month in church is Colossians 3:23-24 - "Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord - you serve the Lord Christ." I serve a BIG GOD who can handle the fact that I am messed up. I have flaws and He knows every one. I also know that He is bigger than my mistakes and that He knows my heart. Whether it is a really good day or a really bad day I know that He loves me the same. I know that His grace does not change and is always available. For all my striving to become more I sometimes forget that He knows right where I am at. I wish I could say that I am glad for the challenges that this life presents but what I can say is that I am glad for a God who is with me through the challenges that this life presents.

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