Sunday, February 14, 2010

Marriage Monday

The name of the blog today makes me want to change it because, what on earth can I have to say, I've only been married 10 years this May. That being said, I am very passionate about God's Word and He has a lot of great things to say about marriage and if I keep His Word as the basis on which I will write then I think that can't be a bad thing.

I have been doing a lot of reading recently on the subject of marriage and sexual intimacy. As I blogged previously, Justin and I are writing a small group study for our church and have been really working hard to pursue excellence in our research and compilation of the information we have found. In the past 4 months I have read over 15 books on marriage and sexual intimacy and read several commentaries on several key scripture passages pertaining to marriage. In general I have found 2 things to be true. There is a lot of information out there about marriage and about sex. Some of it is really good, sound, Biblical advice and some of it is not. A really positive thing I have found is that the church is no longer silent about sex and, in part, rather than being known for what God is against regarding sex there is a great deal of people discussing the freedom God has given with sex in the proper context of marriage.

The second thing I have found to be true is that marriages outside and inside of the church are being destroyed at record numbers. With almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce it seems that lack of information is not the issue. If you go to Amazon and type in marriage books you will get over half a million hits. Information is not a problem. Obviously I would not qualify all of that information as helpful, pertinent, good or Biblical but it still goes to show that information is not our biggest problem.

So, if finding good information is not the problem what is? I believe that in every aspect of our lives finding solid information about what we are dealing with is relatively easy yet there is a disconnect between knowing that information and applying that information. I know that in order to meet my goal weight I have to eat less and move more yet if I don't do one or both of those sides of the equation I will not reach my goal. The same is true in marriage. If we have read and studied what God has to say about marriage but do not apply it, there really is no change. One of my favorite quotes I have run across in my recent reading will be the starting point which I use on this first installment of Marriage Monday. This quote leads to what I believe is one of the most prevalent reasons that just having good information available is not enough to motivate change. In their book Intimate Issues, Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus write the following quote: "Marriages are never stagnant, they are always going somewhere. If a marriage is neglected it will follow the principles of deterioration, which says that all things (our bodies, our homes, and yes, our marriages) tend toward decay. But if a marriage nurtured and tended, it will flourish." If we don't spend time and energy on our marriages then they will deteriorate. Whether that leads to divorce or just a lack of what God calls "oneness" in the Bible there is no escaping the downfall of relationship.

As I end this first installment of Marriage Monday on the day after Valentines day, I challenge you to look at what you have done recently (not just yesterday!) to really nurture and tend to your marriage. Being that marriage is the greatest earthly reflection of God's love towards mankind I would say He has a great deal of personal interest in your marriage, ask for His help and He will show up.

1 comment:

BigMama said...

Well said. I also think that it absolutely requires two active participants. One person can't do the work of two, no matter how much they put into it. As you said, even if the marriage survives, it will never thrive.